Life Lessons

Sometimes the lessons that life brings along are very hard to bear. Recently our family experienced one of these lessons. On the morning of January 26th my dear husband's brother, Harry Woodis, was tragically killed in an automobile accident caused by black ice. This moment in time brought into our lives a series of learning experiences that I am sure our children will never forget.



Our family has experienced death in the past, but never like this. When an older person dies you are usually expecting it and can prepare yourself for the grief. But, when a younger person is killed suddenly and tragically, it is a bit like getting kicked in the stomach. It takes your breath away and leaves you with a pain that doesn't end quickly.

At the ages of 20, 17, and 12 our children are old enough to understand loss and really experience the range of emotions that grief brings. First there was the shock, denial and intense sobbing. Then came the anger and blame casting. Lastly came the acceptance and deep sadness. They also experienced the joy and peace through it all of the assurance that Uncle Harry is now waiting for them in heaven. As Christians we don't experience forever loss, we can look forward to a hope and a future. Instead of Uncle Harry being gone forever, we know that our family circle in heaven just got bigger.

Another lesson they learned was how to give and receive comfort and love during a crisis. This was the second most important lesson. The loving arms that folded us close and the promise of prayers were the most comforting things that we received. Another great help was the meals that were provided. Everything was so overwhelming during that first week that the simple task of planning a meal was just too much.

Many times we received phone calls from concerned people that wanted to help. The question of "What can I say, what can I do to help?" was uttered many times. When faced with such an intense loss most people are at a loss for words; you just don't know what to say. Indeed, there are no words that will alleviate your suffering, only time and the healing touch of the Holy Spirit of God can do that.

The most important lesson that we learned from this tragedy was to draw closer to our Dear Lord for healing and comfort. We learned to rely on Him. He alone can handle our raging, intense grief. Sometimes your heart cry can not find words, but the longing is heard by our Dear Lord. He knows your need before you can put it into words. In the dark of night, when you feel all alone, He is there. When your are at the bottom of the "valley of the shadow of death", He is there. He promised to never leave us and never forsake us and we found this to be true.

This was one of those lessons that you can't learn from a book. Filling in blanks in a work book won't teach this kind of lesson. Learning as a family to support one another and fill in the blanks in our lives that Uncle Harry has left, those are the lessons that we have learned.